I was having lunch one day with some girlfriends and through the course of the conversation it was discovered that out of the four of us, I was the only one who had not been sexually abused as a child. I was the minority! That in itself was scary and when you read the statistics that one in three girls and one in six boys in Australia are subjected to sexual abuse, there is no doubt that this is a serious issue. Much of the problem lies in the fact that the topic of sexual abuse is not discussed openly; it remains a dark and disturbing secret, empowered by the veil of silence. Where is the voice for all of the people out there who have had their lives turned upside down by this ‘unspeakable’ act?

With the teddies of course! Teddies are often a symbol of childhood, security and innocence, so it is no surprise that teddies and other furry critters have become the ambassadors for Teddy Tour, a website dedicated to giving survivors of childhood sexual assault a voice. This is done by providing the opportunity to submit an anonymous tag that is married up with a supporting ‘teddy’ and pictures of them posted on the site. You only have to spend a few moments reading some of the tags already submitted to know what this opportunity has given these survivors. A sense of release, sharing and the knowledge that they are not alone are but a few emotions that are evident by the comments and messages. It is a powerful and necessary forum. Every one of the featured teddies are intuitively and lovingly partnered with a tag, photographed and kept – no teddy is used twice.

And the woman who houses all those teddies in her lounge room is Ali Kuylaars. A basic form of Teddy Tours was originally started in Cairns by a social worker but when this woman decided to follow a different path, the call was taken up by Ali. When I asked Ali why she chose to adopt the Teddy Tour she replied, ‘Because I could and because it is an issue close to my heart. I saw that it was an opportunity’.
Ali emphasizes that the Teddy Tour is solution focused – helping to raise awareness and offering an opportunity for people to take the first step toward their healing. The website also lists organizations that can provide ongoing support and information. Ali is now organizing a ‘physical’ teddy tour, travelling with her teddies to spread the message further. She has found that the teddies provide an opening for curiosity and people are more comfortable talking about what they represent. As she states, “Ignorance is not innocence. If we don’t talk about it, how can we expect kids to talk about it?”

This is one of her goals – to develop an educational program teaching children “How to talk about it”. Ali is a strong advocate for empowering children, particularly those children with a disability (statistics for sexual abuse among children with disabilities are higher again!), through teaching protective behaviours, proactive behaviours and emotional intelligence. She has found unique opportunities to be able to do this, both formally and informally. Ali is a member of Riding for the Disabled (or as she calls it ‘Riding Develops Ability’). She teaches music both privately and through TAFE and does one on one tutoring support with youth. Using the creativity, movement and connection available through these activities, provides a wonderful canvas for teaching and emphasizing life skills and lessons.

Ali is a very giving person as evidenced by the many service roles she fills. She is passionate about her role as custodian of Teddy Tours and her responsibilities when working with children. Her approach to both is considered and respectful. It is important to her that Teddy Tour eventually becomes self-sustaining so that the message is not lost or forgotten. To help support the physical Teddy Tour and to keep her supply of teddies in stock, Ali is seeking sponsorship, funding and grants. If you can help with financial support, printing brochures or a banner, donating a folding table or teddies, please contact Ali.

Ali has such commitment and energy so I can only imagine what else she will accomplish over the coming years. So for you Ali and others who are actively making a difference I offer you this….

‘I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do. What I can do, I should do. And what I should do, by the grace of God, I will do.’
- Edward Everett Hale